May He Reap What He Sows - Part 1

Prologue

My monochrome landscape, that is often what I called the plains that I viewed through my seemingly mortal eyes. The world had always looked this way to me. Various shades of black, white and grey. I had heard about the true colours that the world contained, bright and vibrant gradients that lit up the sky when the sun went down, the deep and daunting ripples of the ocean, the luscious expanse of a wide-open forest. People explained it to me often enough that part of me felt as though I could already envision it in my mind. However, to me, I didn’t believe the world needed colour, not this world at least. With what I had seen, what I had lived through, what I had done, this planet deserved to be bleak, bland and dull.

Then again, most people weren’t like me, in fact, nobody I have ever come across shares the same traits, except from my ancestors of course. Nobody else has had to live with the knowledge of all the dreadful things other humans have done to gain a place in this society. The lengths they will go to in order to achieve money, power and status. None of them have had to live knowing that one day they will be the one to end those peoples lives and ultimately become just as terrible as some of them. At the end of the day, death is death and murder is murder, regardless of whether it is your job or birthright.

Not once did I ever envision that this would be the path that I would take. That I would be the one to live through trauma after trauma and sentence the guilty ones to an eternity of suffering. Perhaps an eternity seems harsh to you, but after the things I have seen, felt and witnessed, I was beginning to believe that all humans deserve nothing more than that. It isn’t my job to make crass assumptions though, in fact, it’s quite the opposite...

My name is Jester Flemmings, I’m 17 years old and I am the grim reaper.

Chapter One - Mere Mortals

“Jester, what have I told you about disturbing me while I’m working?”

I sighed sadly, my eyes drifting to the floor where I absently scuffed my black, patent boots against the hardwood floor of my father’s office. It wasn’t often that I bothered him during his work hours, it wasn’t often that I came into his office at all, but today of all days curiosity had stricken me for some odd reason.

“Sorry, Dad, I just wanted to ask you something…”

I lifted my eyes in time to catch my father’s gaze, his hands moving to set down the stack of papers he held as he peered at me over the top of his glasses. He sat back in his chair slowly and reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose.

“I already know what you’re going to ask, the answer is no, as always,” his tone firm as his eyes came to meet mine again.

“But dad-”

“Jester, don’t argue with me. You know how your mother feels about you coming with me during judgements,” he reiterated for what felt like the millionth time. He moved to stand up from his chair, striding over to me as my eyes dropped back to focus on my boots once again. I jumped slightly as his hand came to ruffle my unkempt hair, the sleeve of his black robes hitting my cheek due to the action.

“Your time will come, son, I promise. Enjoy the easy days while they last. You’ve got years to focus on the hard work ahead of you, don’t stress about the future right now.”

“Okay,” I decided finally, knowing I wasn’t going to make much progress as long as my mother was involved. I looked up at him with a bright smile before continuing. “Can I at least help you pick?”

My father laughed amusedly at my enthusiasm, a rare but enjoyable occurrence, before nodding as he lifted a finger to his lips.

“Yes...but don’t mention anything to your mother, alright?”

-

Some days I wish I could return to the innocence of my childhood, blissfully unaware of the true horrors that awaited me down the line. Life had seemed so easy when I was ten years old and my father’s job appeared so mysterious and intriguing, but how times had changed since I’d learnt the truth.

My future had been planned out for me all along. Ever since the day that my father met my mother. Compared to my father’s career, my mother’s seemed oddly normal. She was a lawyer. Not for a regular, mortal court of course, for the cases that went to the judgement of the purgatory court jury. These cases were only for those who believed they were killed unfairly and unjustified, however, my father told me that very few cases make it past the approval system in place. My parents met during one of the cases that took place decades ago and haven’t looked back ever since. They claim it was love at first sight, truthfully I think that my father was just relieved that she wasn’t terrified of him and what he was, but perhaps I am wrong.

My father’s job is a little confusing and seeing as I have never been allowed to discuss it with the mortal beings I live amongst, I have never had to explain it. Essentially, my father was born into a family of reapers. Both his parents were reapers, and his grandparents, too. His future was written in stone, much like mine was. Contrary to popular belief, there is more than one Grim Reaper. How else would you expect all the souls to be harvested on a daily basis? A singular being couldn’t do that by themselves.

Once my father finished his training, he took over his own parents position, the same way I will for him. His job is to harvest the souls of those close to death and decide whether it is their time to leave this realm. To do this, he must relive a portion of their life to deem which path is best. On top of this, he also has to declare what each and every soul will contribute and what punishments they will receive for the missteps they have taken throughout their lives. This final step is possibly the most important one, at least according to my father, due to the fact that the souls my father deals with are almost always criminals.

By criminals, I don’t mean petty thieves and drug dealers, I mean murderers, human traffickers, rapists, the worst of the worst and my father’s job ensured that he had to relive each and every crime they committed through the eyes of the victim.

It is because of these horrors, that my world is monochrome. I do not wish to see the joyous colours like everybody else. This realm is putrid and dark, full of sorrow and shame. The last thing it deserves is colour.

From the day I turned sixteen, my training began. Of course, I couldn’t take over from my father instantly, I had a lot of learning to do and there was no way my mother was letting me get a headstart. Becoming a reaper may be my destiny, but she wasn’t about to subject me to the horrors of it before it was necessary.

The first few months of training had consisted of law lessons with my mother. We went over probably thousands of pieces of legislation that I had to follow and know to ensure I wasn’t breaking any infernal laws or being biased towards the individuals that I punished. I knew that there was still much to learn and that my father still had much to show me, but I still didn’t see how you could be too harsh on a serial killer.

Six months down the line I was finally allowed to partake in my first judgement. My father would walk me through the process, although I would have to go through the judgement alone. I hadn’t known what to expect or how to prepare and therefore didn’t sleep whatsoever the night before from the nerves that settled in my chest.

Sometimes I wondered if I possessed too much of a soul to be a reaper of sorts. My father’s job never seemed to take a toll on him, despite the fact that he constantly had to relive a vicious death on the daily. The thought of it made me feel sick to my stomach and my first judgement didn’t change this whatsoever.

Chapter Two - The First Judgement

“Come on, Jester, you can’t be late on your first day.”

My father’s voice sounded down the hall as I closed my bedroom door and straightened out my robes. I could see him poking his head out of his office, staring directly at me frustratedly as I started towards him quickly.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry, I woke up late.”

It was a complete lie. I hadn’t slept at all. What I meant to say was that I could barely bring myself to get out of bed when the clock struck 7, but the look in my father’s eyes told me that he already knew by the way he assessed the dark circles under my eyes. If he did know, he certainly didn’t say.

He sighed as he led me into the office and closed the door behind us, shaking his head as he moved across the room to take a seat at his desk. As usual, it was covered in various papers and books, but for once it seemed a little more organised. As my eyes scanned the desk briefly, I came to notice that he had brought in a chair for me.

“Alright, before we start why don’t we take some time going over the legislation again-”

I groaned loud enough to cut him off mid-sentence, coming to take a seat on the free chair he had dragged into the office.

“Dad, I already know everything I need to know. Mother practically had me memorize each and every piece. If I have to read any of that again, my brain might explode from pure boredom.”

For a few moments, I thought he might get mad. His expression was unreadable as he turned to me, his eyes vacant and his mouth drawn in a tight line. The moments that passed seemed to last full hours until eventually his lips twitched ever so slightly and he let out a laugh.

“Alright, okay, let’s get started then. Don’t tell your mother though, what she doesn’t know can’t hurt her. She’d damn me to an eternity in the infernal flames if she knew I let you go without going over everything...but I think you’re ready for this, son. Practice makes perfect. I went into this a lot less prepared than you are, you’ll do just fine,” he said in a way of reassurance, reaching out to grasp my shoulder briefly before reaching for the stack of papers neatly lined up at the edge of the desk.

He took the papers from where they sat before handing them to me. There were about twenty files or so, each plastered with a different name and face across the cover.

“You know how this bit works, so take some time to look through all of these and let me know when you’re ready to go.”

I nodded silently as sat back as I began to flick through each file. With each one I read, my chest tightened even more. I knew that I wasn’t supposed to pick files based on what would be the least emotionally scarring for me, but the thought of living through any of these sounded dreadful.

There was a middle-aged man who had murdered his pregnant wife and burnt her corpse. There was a boy about my age who had tortured and killed his 5-year-old brother. There was a young woman who had drowned her best friend in a pond by her house after finding out she slept with her boyfriend.

And those were some of the milder cases.

I finally opted for the young woman’s file, deciding that the details in that file seemed less gruesome than the others and perhaps easier to judge unbiasedly. The other files I had read seemed to have no reasonable motive behind them, they were just cruel. At least this woman had a reason to be hurt, though I wasn’t sure it warranted killing her best friend.

I set down the rest of the files and handed the remaining one to my father who seemed to nod approvingly before patting me on the back.

“Good choice...are you ready to start or do you need a minute?”

Every instinct inside of me screamed to get up and leave without another word. Part of me hoped that I would have the nerve to stand up and tell my father how I felt. Another part of me tried it’s hardest to convince me that he would be okay with me saying no and deciding not to pursue this path. Perhaps I could become a lawyer like my mother, surely that wasn’t too shameful for the family name?

Despite the fact that my brain was begging me not to say yes, I nodded grimly and took a deep breath in an attempt to calm myself.

It didn’t work.

To begin the judgement, I had to consume a concoction of sorts that my father tried to describe as “Tea” despite its murky green hue and the bubbles that spewed from the edge of the cup. My stomach instantly began to churn at the dreadful smell and I worried momentarily that I’d simply vomit it all over my father’s desk before I could digest it properly.

However, this turned out not to be an issue. I pinched my nose tightly and with a nod of my Father’s head, I was downing the concoction in one, large gulp before leaning back in the chair to let the vision consume me.

Chapter Three - Who was Layla?

I felt as though I was swimming through murky water. My eyes were hazy, the corners of my vision blocked with deep swirls of grey as my hands reached out desperately. I wasn’t stood or sat, I was simply floating in the void, no glimpse of reality to be seen.

Eventually, my vision began to clear and the world around me began to form. Everything felt vague and distant as if I was seeing the world through somebody else’s eyes, which I soon realised was exactly what was happening. I found myself standing on an empty street, houses surrounding either side of me and empty cars bordering the pavement. I could tell that it was early evening as the sun began to set and the sky grew darker, a slight chill running down my spine at the chilled breeze that rushed past me.

I tried my hardest not to focus on the sudden worry that dawned on me. Surely if I could feel the weather then I would most definitely feel what it was like to die. An entirely separate shiver wracked through me before my head was involuntary moving to look down at the phone that I realised I was grasping tightly.

The sensation was difficult to explain. I was very clearly not in control of my body, but at the same time, all my senses were on high alert. I could feel the slightly cold breeze. I could smell the dampness from the recent rainfall. I could hear the soft chirping of birds in the trees surrounding the neighbourhood. I could taste the remnants of coffee on my tongue and I could obviously see the street ahead of me. It was like living inside someone else’s brain.

I was dragged out of my thoughts as I lifted the phone to my ear and began to speak.

“She knows, Max, she knows about us,” I muttered into the phone, beginning to walk down the deserted pavement.

“What? How does she know? Who told her?” the voice on the other end of the phone responded, panic laced in both of our tones.

“I don’t know, I didn’t...I didn’t say anything to her, somebody else must have said something. Who did you tell?”

“Nobody, I told nobody, Layla, I swear!”

“Well...it had to be someone that we know, right? Maybe somebody saw us,” I sighed, tapping the back of the phone nervously with my finger. “I’m meeting her.”

“Right now? Why? Where? I’ll come to meet you guys, we can work this out together.”

I shook my head, noting silently that he couldn’t even see me through the phone. “No, she wanted it to be us, just us, it’s probably better that way, Max...she deserves the truth at least.”

He sighed at the other end of the call. “Okay...if you’re sure. I don’t mind coming for support if you want me to.”

“It’s okay, don’t worry about me. We’re only meeting at the park, she can’t get too mad in public, right? I’ll call you when we’re done.”

“Alright, I’ll talk to you later then.”

I pocketed my phone finally as I ended the call, letting my feet carry me towards the park that I appeared to know the way to off by heart. The park was fairly small and quaint, only a singular path leading through it and a couple of benches spotted around. It was a fairly public meeting spot if anyone were to walk by, but it seemed that during the evenings the park had fallen silent.

As I stood and waited for the girl that I was assuming was my supposed best friend, I began to wonder about the specifics of the vision. With how quiet everything seemed and nobody else around, I wondered if maybe I was only able to see the people involved in the vision. It would make sense since I was essentially living a playback of the event, but perhaps it was more of a question for my father when I returned.

I didn’t dwell on it much more, my eyes focusing on the short, brunette girl approaching me slowly. She was fairly petite and slim, her arms wrapped around herself tightly as she finally stopped in front of me beside the bench. Her eyes practically bore into mine, a million questions hidden behind them, but instead, she just shook her head at me slowly.

“I don’t get why,” was all she said to me. Her eyes held such sadness and remorse, clearly heartbroken by the actions caused by her boyfriend and her best friend. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what that kind of betrayal must feel like.

“I don’t know what to tell you,” my now female voice spoke, my own arms coming to cross over my chest almost protectively. “I can’t say that it was an accident or that I didn’t mean it, because I did. There’s no taking back what we did...I’m not going to stand here and lie to you.”

“That was probably the worst way of hurting me and I don’t understand why? What have I ever done to you...to either of you?”

Her voice sounded defeated and broken, tears already slipping down her cheeks as she looked to me desperately for some sort of answer. As if she were waiting for me to deny the whole thing, to tell her that nothing happened between me and Max and that it was all a lie, but I could already tell from where the conversation was headed that this wasn’t the case.

I was quiet momentarily, my eyes never leaving her as the silence settled around us. My hands tightened into fists as I dropped my arms to my sides.

“You’re the reason that my brother is dead,” I breathed finally.

Lily’s face contorted into a look of pure anger, any hint of sadness leaving her instantly. It was evident that whatever had happened between her and Layla’s brother was sensitive territory to step into.

“You know that’s not true,” she gritted out, clearly trying to hold herself back from saying much more.

“Oh, it is true. My little brother is dead because you’re a selfish bitch, Lily. You deserve all of this, all of it. You were supposed to be my best friend, where did that get me?” I spat viscously.

“So you slept with my boyfriend to get back at me, was that it?” Her question didn’t convey any of the previous upset that I had seen. Instead, she looked at me with rage and anger burning in her gaze. Despite this, deep down I still didn’t feel that she was a murderer. She was hurting, but she wasn’t cruel.

“Who do you think sent you the texts, Lily. I wanted to hurt you even just a fraction of the amount that you hurt me. You’ll never know what it’s like to lose a sibling, not like I did. You’ll never know what it’s like to live like this.”

“I know I won’t. I don’t understand what it feels like to lose somebody like that, but I never would have done anything to hurt him, not in a million years. You can’t keep on blaming me for the rest of your life or you’re never going to find closure, you’re going to be angry and spiteful forever if you don’t.”

A beat of silence passed us before I was shaking my head at her words. “I’m not going to be spiteful forever, not if I just get rid of you now.”

“What’s that supposed to-”

Her words were cut off as I stepped towards her and knocked her against the tree beside us before my hands came to wrap around her neck tightly. My fingers seized her skin with sheer force, my hands trembling from the sudden excursion, but Layla clearly wasn’t about to let up. Even as Lily choked and hit her hands against me in a feeble attempt to stop me, she didn’t hesitate for even a second.

“Ple...ase,” she spluttered, her eyes wide with fear as she continued to push at my chest. I could feel each of her movements becoming weaker and weaker, but her words only seemed to cause Layla to squeeze harder, her knuckles turning white from the motion.

Eventually Lily stopped hitting and pushing, seeming to accept that she wasn’t going to stop. After a few minutes, her eyes began to droop, her body slowly going limp beneath mine, Layla’s, hands.

My hands were trembling and aching but she didn’t relent, not yet, not until two hands came to grip my shoulders before yanking me back harshly. Lily’s body dropped to the ground, a loud gasp escaping her as her hands clutched the grass beneath her fingers desperately.

I tried to step back towards her almost instantly, but the hands kept a firm grip on me, even as I turned around to face their owner.

“Max, what the hell,” I shouted frustratedly, pushing at his shoulders as he gripped me tighter.

“You’re out of your mind, Layla, what are you doing! You were trying to kill her!”

“It’s what she deserves,” my eyes began to sting as she started to sob; hands still pushing at his shoulders to pry herself free. “She killed Luke, she got him killed, she can’t get away with it anymore.”

His expression was tight with concern, even with each hit my hands delivered, he held me tight. I watched as his eyes flickered to Lily, taking the chance to glance over my shoulder in time to see her push herself up to sit against the tree weakly.

“Let me go,” I gritted out firmly as I turned back to him.

“No, you’re going to go back home and you’re not going to go near her again, you hear me? I’m not going to let you do this, Layla.”

I narrowed my eyes at him as he spoke, scoffing lightly in response. I didn’t respond to him this time though and instead, I was bringing my hand up to punch him across the jaw.

This caused Max to finally let me go, stumbling back a few steps as he brought his hand up to cradle his jaw. I didn’t waste time waiting for his reaction though. I was quickly turning on my heal and moving towards Lily.

Her eyes were fixed on me with terror as she scrambled to her feet finally.

“Stop it, Layla, stop it, you don’t want to do this to me,” she rasped, coughing as she walked back across the park quickly. “Just stop!”

I continued after her even as she began to run, though I didn’t get very far when the same pair of arms dragged me back as they wrapped around me tightly.

I didn’t hesitate this time, throwing my head back quick enough to hit his face. I heard the grunt that left him as he let me go, but he was soon reaching to grab my arm before I could stumble forwards.

“Let me go!” I screamed as he gripped me even tighter, twisting around to hit him again as he caught my fist mid-air.

“Let her go, Layla. You need to calm down!”

His nose was bleeding from where my head had hit and his jaw was swelling by the minute, but it didn’t seem to deter him from stopping me. I tried to pull my arm free from him, but to no avail.

I stared at him in disdain, my chest heaving heavily with anger.

“What would you do?” I ask him pointedly. “If it was your sister?”

He sighed at my words and shook his head, releasing my hand promptly but still hovering close as he seemingly gathered his thoughts.

“I understand why you’re angry about what happened and you have every right to be, but we both know she never would have hurt him and none of it was done on purpose...you can’t blame her forever.”

I take a moment to consider his words before I finally let my shoulders drop. I glance back over towards the trees, but I can’t see Lily amongst them. I can’t exactly blame her for getting out of here as quickly as she did. I know that Max must sense that I have given up the fight and finally lets me go, allowing me to slowly slide down to the grass beneath me as I begin to cry.

“Lay, it’s going to be alright,” he said quietly, moving to crouch beside me. “I’m sorry I got you into all of this mess.”

I sigh, though I’m not entirely sure if it’s out of frustration or exhaustion. “It’s fine, Max,” I whispered. “You should just go...thank you for stopping me.”

I glance up in time to catch him narrow his eyes at my words, causing me to speak up again. “I’m not going to go looking for her, I swear. I don’t have the energy. I just want to be alone for a little while before I head back home again,” I reason.

I feel his eyes study me for a few moments, trying his hardest to assess the situation before he eventually nodded. He reached out to squeeze my shoulder reassuringly before moving to stand up.

“Alright. Let me know when you’re home though, so I know you’re safe.”

I nod silently, keeping my own gaze trained on the jade coloured grass as my fingers idly played with a few strands. I don’t allow myself to look back up again until I hear his footsteps retreating away from me and eventually out of earshot entirely.

I’m not sure how long I stay there for, until the park becomes shadowed in darkness as the evening turns to night. It’s an odd sensation though, every now and then I remember that this isn’t real and I’m able to pull myself from Layla’s thoughts long enough to remind myself that I’m not her. I have no control over what she does or what happens to her, I can’t stop her thoughts from invading my mind because, for the time being, we are one entity entwined. It feels as though I’m just a whisper in the corner of her mind, a silent spectator unaware of his own presence until eventually, the whole world falls silent once again.

Chapter Four - Goodbyes

For now, Layla’s thoughts are quiet. She is mulling things over and over, her fingers still twisting and pulling at strands of grass absently. It’s during this time that I remember my purpose here, to relive Layla’s death and determine whether or not Lily is guilty of murdering her. I grow confused almost instantly. Lily is nowhere to be seen and didn’t seem to have any intention of killing Layla, and from the heaviness I can sense from Layla’s mind, it doesn’t look like she’s going after her old friend anytime soon.

I try to think back to the various stories my father has told me about his visions and how long they lasted. I can’t recall any of them lasting longer than a few hours at a time, but my memories are murky and clouded inside of Layla’s mind. I must be nearing the end now, surely?

I find myself getting lost in my own thoughts momentarily, the reality of it all suddenly beginning to dawn on me. Right now, in this moment, everything feels so real. I can feel each individual blade of grass against my, Layla’s, fingers. I can see the darkness that has engulfed the sky, bright twinkles littering the black expanse and the light of the moon gleaming amongst them. But I can’t even begin to convince my mind that it is real in any sense, because I know that in real time this is all but a distant, forgotten memory. In reality, Layla is already dead and all that remains is my verdict, my word.

If I decide she is guilty, Lily will die also and I will be the one to reap her soul.

I let out a shaky sigh and closed my eyes, taking a few moments to process the information before realising that it wasn’t me that caused those actions once again. I don’t have a chance to carry on worrying because Layla is moving to stand up from the grass finally.

Night has truly fallen now, it must be getting close to midnight from the position of the moon and the shadows that have engulfed the park entirely. I begin to walk down the same path that I arrived here on, however in the opposite direction. I decide that there must be another exit to the park and perhaps Layla wants to take a longer way home.

The walk doesn’t last as long this time though, not because we come to the exit sooner but because I suddenly come to a stop beside a small pond. I lean down to brush my fingers through the water, the jolt of cold surprising, but not deterring. I can barely see the small ripples that my fingers caused by disturbing the still water, but they’re there, just beneath my fingertips. I let out another short sigh, the cold air allowing my breath to show in a small white mist before evaporating before my eyes.

Then it happens, so fast and so slow, all at the same time.

A dark clothed arm wraps around my neck from behind, so quickly that I don’t have a chance to even glance behind me before my knees buckle and I fall to my knees on the stoned path beneath me. I splutter for air as the arm tightens, my hands coming up instinctively to pull at it in desperation. My breathing is short and panicked, my hands clammy and my face throbbing with that red hot worry that takes over your entire body in a state of fear.

I have barely even registered the arm before my head is plunged into the pond that seemed so peaceful only moments prior. The instant cold sensation that jolts through me shocks me once again and my mouth fills with water as I try to breathe without thinking it through. The arm has let go of me to hold my head under, but there is still no chance of me receiving any air.

I scream in reflex, my arms thrashing so hard in desperation that I’m not entirely sure whether it’s me or Layla controlling the movements anymore. I can feel all of it. Water filling my lungs through my mouth and nose as well as stinging my eyes. That white-hot panic fills me again, each second dawning on me that I’m closer and closer to death.

I’m vaguely aware of the tightening of the hand that grips my hair and holds me under. I’m too busy trying to escape its clutches, thrashing my arms and kicking my legs backwards, trying to find anything that might give me an extra bit of leverage, but to no avail. I continue trying to breathe just in case, by some miracle, I’m suddenly able to breathe underwater, but soon my body begins to give out. I fight for what feels like hours, but I know it has only been minutes.

My limbs ache and my chest stings searingly. I can tell that my body is giving up the fight now. I feel weak and lightheaded, each swing of my arms becoming slower and slower until eventually my eyes begin to flutter close and the murky water morphs to black beneath my eyelids. The sharp pains and weakness slowly begin to fade away and I’m met with an overwhelming urge to fall asleep. I can’t even begin to fight it, too weak from the lack of oxygen. I let myself relax and float away into the unknown, now knowing how it feels to die at the hands of another.